Retracing a Splash of Historical Record in Panti Waluya Sejati

“Good morning.” With the warmest smile someone could have ever seen, two female elderly were enthusiastically welcoming my arrival last Saturday, May 27, 2011, in their house known as Panti Waluya Sejati. Panti Waluya Sejati is a nursing home for elderly people located in Jalan Kramat V IC Salemba, Jakarta. As a two storey house with three big rooms, this nursing home resembled nothing but a normal house. The first impression you would find – beside the hospitality of the dwellers – is the condition and the situation that represented love and relationship of 15 elderly people living under the same roof as a true family.

However, it is not because the warmth and family relationship that makes this house special. Unlike the other nursing home, the dwellers of Panti Waluya Sejati are not ordinary people. They are what we usually recognize as Gerwani, the victims of the most bloodily historical crime of 1965’s political tragedy.

“Who has ever forgotten the most manipulative propaganda as well as the 1965’s horrifying massacre under the cruelest president throughout Indonesian’s history, Soeharto?” Lestari (65), the head of Panti Waluya Sejati that was also the member of Gerwani and former political detainee, said. “I had been imprisoned for eleven years without due process. My uncle was tragically murdered. I lost my husband and my youngest son. And I was not the only one. Innumerable people were kidnapped, arrested, jailed, tortured, raped, and most of them were disappeared.” And all these inhumanness rooted from the unfounded allegation for Gerwani’s suspected affiliation with Partai Komunis Indonesia (Communist Party of Indonesia) and participation in the 30 September 1965’s failed coup attempt.

The story of Lestari began in 1951 when she firstly joined Gerwis (Gerakan Wanita Sedar Indonesia) which subsequently become Gerwani in the following few years. She was just twenty when she participated in the first congress of Gerwis. The main agenda of the congress was to set up an alliance that focused on women development. This included the eradication of illiteracy, women rights in education and proposing monogamy marriage to be legalized in Indonesian’s law system. For the impressively organizational agenda, Gerwani was able to attract substantial number of mass to join the organization.

“Gerwani was very serious and solid to bring about good change in this country. Our members were widespread throughout nation starting from the rural to metropolitan population and from the lowest up to the highest class of society. Consequently, we were politically strong for those supports that made Soeharto afraid of our existence. We did good things for people. Thus, the destructive rumor of us undergoing sexual abuse to military officers, moral degradation and any inhuman crimes was merely none sense. Society at that time definitely knew that before Soeharto and the followers made up history that discriminated Gerwani and PKI,” Lestari said in controllable emotion.

In 1965 when Gerwani massive hunt occurred, Lestari was living in Surabaya after previously became the leader of Gerwani in Bojonegoro, East Java. She made tens of getaways from one place to another with her four-year-old son. She decided to bring the child because he was her youngest son, and she was worried if nobody would be able to take good care of him.

The last escaping effort she did with friends was in Blitar, East Java. At that time the group hide themselves in Pantai Selatan for several days. When they were walking and stooping alongside the beach, they got caught since a member of the group had wounded leg so that she couldn’t walk faster than the others.

Lestari and seven other Gerwani were imprisoned in Lembaga Kemasyarakatan Perempuan, Malang, East Java. Even though the condition of jail was far from good standard, Lembaga Kemasyarakatan Perempuan Malang was considered better than any other horrible jails such as Plantungan and Bukit Duri. At the beginning there were more than eight people in the prison. Lestari and seven of her friends resided in room 2 while the others were placed in room 4. One night the group of detainee who were sleeping in room 4 was forcefully moved into a car. Since then, nobody has ever seen them again.

With perplexed eyes, Leastari said, “The rumor said that they were sent to Plantungan. I still thank to God because I was not sent there. Plantungan is located in a very remote area of Central Java. People who were imprisoned there would get alienated since the access from the outer world was very difficult.  Although we slept on a sheet of sleeping mat that was no bigger than our body size without appropriate pillow and blanket for eleven years, at least we were not treated abrasively. We didn’t experience any sexual harassment or physical abuse.”

Family members were allowed to visit as long as they didn’t bring anything to detainees even though they were not always being obedient. “Sometimes we smuggled food or things secretly. We knew that all we need to do was to survive. We would do anything to keep living.”

For eleven years, Lestari beard on the long agony of being imprisoned until finally miracle did happen. Started in 1976, political detainees were visited by IRC and International Red Cross Organization. For their efforts, they were finally liberated. “For the next three months, I still had to do regular report. But I was happy for having my freedom again,” Lestari said with her usual warm smile.

However, being liberated was not the end of agony. Former Gerwani still received discrimination either from government or society that entailed to their family as well. People and family of former Gerwani and PKI couldn’t be promoted to enhance their career in government service. They were sometimes excluded from the major part of society. Even there was some of formers political detainee who was rejected by their own family.

As that happened on Lestari, “When I visited my sister to inform that I was free and in good condition, her husband who was a military officer didn’t allow me to enter the house. I understand, however, that it was not their intention. The rejection was not because they hated me or were not happy seeing me again. It was because the system, the powerful regime of Soeharto that made people afraid of us.”

Lestari finally had been back into normal life. Once in a month she visited her husband who was imprisoned in Pamekasan, Madura. Her husband got caught in the same year of her and had been sentenced to death. Their being together, however, didn’t last for long. At the year she could hardly remember, she was informed that her husband died without specific explanation underlying the death.

“I didn’t even cry. When you were Gerwani, you had been accustomed with this condition knowing the members of your family mysteriously died. We were not being numb or something because we were surely sad. But it was like there is nothing we could do but keep living and continue our life. I have been surrendering my life to The Only Powerful God. And nothing else.”

Now, in Panti Waluya Sejati Lestari and her other 14 former Gerwani are living happily as one family. This nursing house was initiated by Taufik Kiemas, the husband of Megawati Soekarno Putri, after his conversation with Sulami in 2002. In that year, the year of Megawati leadership, the 65’s survivors were invited to Istana Presiden RI during which Taufik asked a question to Sulami about what she wanted. According to Lestari, Sulami, who died in 2005, answered that she wanted Gerwani DPP office in Jalan Matraman. However, since the authority of office has been taken over, Taufik offered another option in which Sulami could chose whatever house she wanted in Jakarta to compensate her wish that he couldn’t grant. That’s how the history of Panti Waluya Sejati began.

In spite of her age, today Lestari still actively engages in several programs related to research on historical story of 1965’s tragedy. Sometimes she is also invited to attend social events sponsored by Kontras, IKOHI or Komnas Perempuan.

After more than five decades, we would assume that the victims should have received legal remedies for the discrimination they had endured in the past. In fact, there was only little attention directed to them. The whole truth has not been revealed, and the perpetrators have not been adjudicated. Even the foremost leader was not brought to court trial until his death.

For Lestari, there is now nothing much to insist. She doesn’t need any compensation in term of materials or justice. She only hopes that young generation would never forget the history of this nation and all tragedies that had happened so that this kind of hurtful history would not be repeated in the future. The leader of Indonesia should love this country just as much as how the first president Soekarno did in the past, respect and seize the Democracy that had been gained from the long struggle.

“The stick is now on the hands of young generation. What this country will become if young people have no interests in the history of their nation? The democracy that has sacrificed many lives of good people will be useless. We are now facing a more complex issue involving more than a matter of gender. Thus, as the agent of development, we should be united to elevate not only the dignity of women but also men, children especially people who live in poverty. By that, we would be able to continue the mission of Gerwani in the past.”

Books given to the writer by Lestari

As the time went on, the meeting was over. What becomes the essential thing to note was that despite the tragic moment the dwellers had experienced, during the conversation we would only find million of smiles, laughs and jokes. Lestari and other survivors in that house barely represented the lack of happiness. There was no sense of anger or revenge reflected as the victims of human right violence.

“Sometimes the dream keeps coming. The dream about my youngest son shouting at me ‘Mbok-mbok ayo tangi. Iki aku wayahe sekolah. Ayo mbok tangi!’ (Mum, wake up. It is school time. I will be late. Hurry!). And then I woke up in sob realizing that it was just a dream. My youngest son, Ahmad, was kept in custody of military officers when I got caught in runaway that I never heard of him anymore since then,” Lestari closed the conversation still with her warmest smile.

The Unnamable

“I couldn’t get him out of my mind. I didn’t get out of bed for the whole day being busy thinking of him. I had never felt anything like this before. Would I see him today? Had he looked at me? When would I see him again? At home, I browse his facebook account all the time.” Do they sound familiar with you? They are unique pattern you may experience when you fall in love.

The life of human being has never been apart from love. No matter what you are, love and be loved are inseparable from human’s life. Many people connect love to many objects. For a couple, love is associated with hormone and chemicals in human body that spark romance. For a mother, love is infinite, endless, and wholehearted caring to her children. For friends, love is the matter of connecting the dots of triangle; companion, comfort, and sharing place. After all, it becomes difficult to define what love is.

Prior to the scientists’ argument, love and mental illness may be difficult to tell apart as they have similar chemical reactions. Many psychiatrists have compared the production of serotonin between lovers and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) patients, and they surprisingly discovered that both of them show the same level of serotonin imbalance. Scientists have long hypothesized that people who suffer from OCD have a serotonin imbalance that influence their behavior. Serotonin alters mood and emotion that lead to depression, awful power, extreme focus, exploding passion, etc. These symptoms are familiar for OCD patients as well as for lovers.

In the eyes of social cultural perspectives, love definition as a pure and sincere feeling is ambivalent. Love is the result of collective triggers that we unconscious of. Our choice of mates is simply a matter of following cultural expression and individual preference. The reason why we love someone is strongly linked to our personal bias regarding his/her intelligence, attractiveness, wise, and so forth. Furthermore, as we are social creatures who live in a group of certain people, the cultural expression influences much to our decision in choosing mates. Races, religion, family background, even wealth sometimes become prominent consideration in order to be socially acceptable.

However, at some points, the true meaning of love remains unidentified. Some loves are characterized as undying devotion that could not be grasped by any scientific and logical explanation. Love of mother and love of longtime relationship are the best example to include. Although these kinds of love seem to be the purest type of love, they do not remain perfect. There are some situations that cause love to fail due to depression, mistaken identification of partner, different ideology, etc. The imperfection of human being is equivalent to the limit of them in making a perfect love.

The definition of love may be tremendously diverse depending on the subject we are talking about. However, there is only one absolution that by all, a perfect love is unreal while real love is imperfect. A real love may come unexpectedly without being based on certain reasons. We do not choose with whom we lean on our love and give our heart because if it is with intention, then it is not a real one. As best quoted by Lao Tzu, “The name that can be named is not the eternal name. The unnamable is the eternally real.” If we really live it, a real love may be best described as the unnamable.

Najwa Sungkar: A Move and An Action to Get One Step Closer

“Do first, think later”, these golden words seem to be the precise summary depicting the overall figure of a twenty-first young lady, Najwa Abdullah Sungkar, as she enthusiastically quoted in the middle of our conversation last Tuesday, March, 01 2011. That statement might sound controversial for most people, but Sungkar has her best way to decode it into a well-printed sheet of concepts.

Dreaming to be an excellent news anchor in the future, Sungkar has demonstrated an incredible passion in journalism. For her, it is a dynamic, challenging, and skillful work which conform her character. In accordance with, this profession will also develop her personality since she is required to be objective, brave, confident, and mature. News anchors stand up as a passion which completes her seeking for satisfaction while it reversely enhances self qualification of her as an individual.

Holding position as a reporter in her campus organization, Sungkar shows a strong commitment to her profession. She carries on responsibilities and integration. The responsibilities include self improvement in many aspects. “Journalists or news anchors are those who consume a lot of knowledge and information and have high skepticism towards the validation of them. Thus, a news anchor could maintain her/his critical thinking and objectivity,” she said. Integration takes into account a strong dedication and determination to uphold the truth upon everything. She believes that both aspects are the fundamental assets for a high-qualified journalist. Without responsibility and integration, a news-digging profession would only contain a meaningless notion.

Troubles always come to follow during her experience being a reporter. However, Sungkar always shifts her focus on trouble to be a challenge of life. She maintains a professional figure. For example, she was assigned to do news coverage on Sandy Sandoro’s album launching once heavy rain and stuck train came to hit. Despite of those threats, she was determined to finish her duty without being paid for a single penny.

“It has become my prominent compass that people should do first and think later. If you keep your fear, you procrastinate to discover something. It means that you just pile things up without knowing what might wait you ahead. Troubles and difficulties are the best exercises to produce a well-trained people,” she said.

Sungkar has been registered as a English Studies student in University of Indonesia and been currently sitting in her third year class. She has become a reporter for a campus radio in this university called RTC UI for the last two years during which she has achieved quite excellent track record in her news coverage. Besides internal events in University of Indonesia, she has interviewed some popular public figures such as Cinta Laura, The Changcuters, The Groove, and so forth.

To accomplish her life time career as a news anchor, she actively joins several journalistic training and seminars. She is also the active members of ISAFIS, Indonesian Student Association for International Studies, in which she holds on position of news letter editor. It helps her to develop reporting skill, to extend networking, and to enlarge insight view and knowledge.

As she idolizes Najwa Shihab, a Metro TV news anchor, her ideal picture of future is to work with that TV station. After graduating from university, she intends to apply for news production team there. She hopes that it could be such a stepping stone to achieve her eternal wish to be a news anchor.

“Hardship and pain would never cease to exist. I believe that failure, defeat, and frustration are parts of human’s life so that there is no use to avoid them. Do first, think later. You would get one step closer to what you have dreamt and earn much more than what you expected,” she said in the closing of our conversation.